Being a Relational Leader (Ep. 10)

Episode 10: Being a Relational Leader


“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” —Theodore Roosevelt


If you want to be successful, you MUST begin with your ability to create and maintain good relationships with others.


Leaders do two things

  1. They build people (leadership potential)
  2. They build teams (expand influence)


Three actions a Relational Leader should focus on: 

  • Leaders understand people.


Leaders spend a great deal of time understanding people to their very core. It is important to know how the people who follow you feel, and think.


 All people have one thing in common: They like to feel special.


“Always make the other person feel important.” -Dale Carnagie, How to Win Friends and Influence People 


  • Don’t flatter your people. Give them a sincere compliment.
  • Give them a better hope for tomorrow.
  • Help them navigate life. Not just in the workplace, but in everything that they do. Even when they are not with you. 
  • Always put the needs of your followers before your own. 
  • Always encourage your people. 
  • Help your people win. 


“He who serves the most, reaps the most.” ~Jim Rohn


While serving the team collectively, never forget to treat people as individuals.


All people are different. We all have particular strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. We need to recognize each person for his or her unique qualities. 


Question: Are you adapting your leadership style to each individual person?


Take the strengthsfinder assessment. The first step in helping people on an individual level is to know your own strengths. The next part is to meet them and lead them from their perspective and not yours.


 This is why leaders exist. They do what others can’t, or will not, do. 

If you want to be a leader you need to understand your people. 


  • Leaders love people.


If you do not love people then you are not going to be an effective leader.


“Being a leader is more than just wanting to lead. Leaders have empathy for others and a keen ability to find the best in people, not the worst, by truly caring for others.” Henry Gruland (CEO, Definitive Computer Services) 


REFLECTION QUESTION: What are you doing to get to know your people? 


“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” ~John Quincy Adams


Find ways to appreciate your people. 


Leaders love people because they’ve done the work internally to recognize that everyone has value, everyone has something to contribute, and everyone deserves to be invested in. The byproduct of loving them well, is that they will be inspired and more effective. But only sincere love does that. 


Book Recommendation: Love Does, Bob Goff 


  • Leaders help people.


  • If you don’t have the ability to help people, then you don’t have the ability to be a good leader. 
  • People are following you because you have something that they need. 
  • Your people expect your very best every day. 


“The fields of industry are strewn with the bones of those organizations whose leadership became infested with dry rot, who believed in taking instead of giving.” -Le Roy Kurtz


  • On any given day, you can be sure that your people are tuned in to one radio station WIIFM – “What’s In It For Me.” 
  • People respect and follow leaders who keep their interests in mind. 
  • The problem with a lot of people, who think they are leaders, is that they are thinking about what they can get out of their people, instead of what they can put into their people. 



  • How are your people skills?
  • Do you do well with strangers?
  • Can you interact with other people easily?
  • How are your current relationships?
  • Are your current relational skills strong or weak?
  • Do you know your own strengths and weaknesses? 


MO’s Final Thoughts:

Take the focus off yourself. Make a list of things that you can do for others today. You are never really going to feel like you’re helping others, until you actually put those things into practice.  


Lastly, repair broken relationships. Is there somebody that you wronged, or a relationship that got messed up in the process of work or life? Reach out to that person, take responsibility for your part. You will be better for it.

Amazon Book Links: 

Built to Last, by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras 

How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnagie 

Love Does, Bob Goff 


Special thanks to:


Work it out by LiQWYD  Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0  Free Download / Stream: Music promoted by Audio Library


Published by MO

Born and raised in So Cal, MO has always felt a need to pour into the lives of others. At a young age he realized both his speaking and leadership gifts. Involvement in school student government gave him his first taste of leadership, and that was all he needed. Right out of high school, he took an intern position under his mentor of three years, and he eventually became a youth pastor. MO attended Azusa Pacific University and received a B.A. in Christian Ministries and Biblical Studies, as well as a Business Marketing Minor. He continued his education at Fuller Theological Seminary and attained a Master of Divinity degree with an emphasis in Family Pastoral Care and Counseling; he received his Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership from University of Phoenix School of Advanced Studies. Currently MO serves in various ministries and consults both secular and religious institutions in leadership issues. He is Chaplain at Methodist Hospital in Arcadia as well as Chaplain in the US Army. MO is an author, professor, and competitive swim coach. He speaks at youth events and conferences around the nation and internationally. His goal is to add value to others daily.

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